If only I had a penny for every time someone tells me how well I look. I would certainly be very wealthy! Before I got sick, I don’t really remember people telling me how well I looked. Maybe I didn’t, by the way!! I now say it frequently, to the people I meet regularly in a hospital environment. I think what I mean is that, you look well, considering the fact that you are ill. I’m not sure if that’s is what people mean with me, or if they really think I look well.
To be fair, I have lost about a stone in weight, and don’t have quite so many chins as I did have. I have now managed to accumulate about 3 sets of clothes with various waist and chest sizes. My weight can vary with my medication as a lot of you out in blog land will know. It is quite strange to view different pictures that I have had taken in recent years, to see what effects the treatment has had on my appearance.The vast doses of chemo, have managed to suppress what was a great head of hair, and my features look well worn towards craggy!
I am no longer frightened to look in a mirror. I have got used to the changes in my appearance. It is no good worrying about what was, I have to live with what is.I had my monthly review at hospital yesterday, and all the doctors and nurses were saying how well I looked. However, in the last few months, it has become very difficult to drag myself out of bed, due to my low haemoglobin blood levels, and even getting through a normal day requires an awful lot of effort.
I have learned that with cancer patients particularly, things can look ok one minute, then there can be a sudden increase/decrease in weight, due to illness or drugs. What you see externally is not necessarily a true reflection of how that person is feeling.
The reason I have chosen this subject for today’s post, is that on one of my many, late night channel hopping sessions, I found the remake of Spartacus, which was apparently filmed in 2009. I enjoy those epics, and I was wondering who the guy was who played the lead role. He was a great physical specimen as you would expect. Something I might have aspired to in my younger days!