How well do you adjust to change?

I am writing this post, looking out to sea, from a beautiful castle. For the first time in a long time, I have been able to take a short break with my wife, and some friends. With the regime of treatment I have, and my constant tiredness, I don’t really look forward to going away. But my wife needs a break from our home routine. It is good to be waited on and for her to be looked after for a few days.
We are being looked after brilliantly, and we can catch up with papers, books and music, while being fed and watered. This afternoon, I felt very tired and had to go to bed for an hour. This is something I have very rarely had to do. When I came down, I felt better, but rarely have had to have a break during the day. I was upset with myself, as I used to work at least 12 hours a day, and now, even reading a paper makes me tired. I am hoping that this will eventually clear, but I am extremely frustrated and keep reflecting on my life before diagnosis. I really am struggling to adjust to my new life even after 5 years!
This started me thinking about the amount of change that we deal with in our lives. Sometimes the change is by our choice and other times it is things that are out of our control. As we grow up we go from school to work. We then get married and have children. We move house, move from towns to cities, flats to houses, our families grow, and we progress with our careers. A lot of those things can be planned for, and in a lot of cases are not unexpected.
However, how does the unexpected affect us? Redundancy, illness etc. Things that happen that we can’t plan for. Sportsmen that get injured and can’t perform again. Illness that means you will never be able to be as good as you were at your job, if you can even return to work.So many different scenarios! Some people adapt better than others. What is the key to dealing with change?
Personally, I struggle to put my past behind me. I feel that my life before cancer helped make me what I am today, and I feel sometimes that I keep referring back to my old instruction manual, for help with my new life. I often feel that I need to let go of my past life to enable me to truly move on with my new one. I seem to always be comparing what I am able to do now, with what I could do then, which as I said earlier just frustrates me!
I am now a very different person, and my priorities have totally changed. At times I don’t even recognise myself. I always felt that in my working life, I embraced change. In many respects I feel that certain change is a good thing, as it can drive progress.
Having never been into hospital, to it suddenly being my second home is strange. Not knowing how I am going to feel tomorrow, is terrible. Spending most of my waking day working, to not knowing if I will ever be able to work again, is very tough to adjust to. When I was working, I felt very independent, now I feel very dependant. Overall I would sum it up by saying that I feel vulnerable.
These are just some of the dilemmas faced by people who are diagnosed with a long term illness. Not only do they have to adjust, but people in their lives, have to adjust too. This promotes further change, as everyone deals with a new situation. Are there any rules for this, no? We all deal with it, the best way we can. For some, there is professional help, and in some instances there might be a need for medication, but ultimately it is down to the individual to deal with their own issues.
How do you cope with any of the major changes that you have faced in your life. Do you think you should have dealt with something differently. Did the change work out for the best? Do you embrace change. Maybe if something life changing has happened to you, maybe it improved your life, for example, winning the lottery!!
I look forward to hearing your story!

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