Yes, it’s nearly the end of the weekend again. Those of you who work will be starting to think about what lies ahead, and maybe trying to prepare in some way. A presentation to work on, or a report to write. Maybe some preparation for a meeting that you have, or your boss wants to talk to you in the morning!!
Who knows what the week will bring? Who we will talk to or meet. It could change our lives, for better or worse. I heard a very good clip of an interview with Nigel Adkins the manager of Southampton FC. When asked about the prospects for his team in the future, he mentioned that he was only concerned with today. His point was that he could only effect the future by concentrating on the task in front of him.
That made me think, about how most of us have a life plan, and we are always looking at things in the future. Retirement, holidays, new jobs, new houses, meeting with friends, weddings etc. A lot of those things are a long time in the planning stage, some more than others! (retirement for example) I just wondered if we missed out on a lot of the ‘here and now’ because we are so concerned with making plans for the future?
During some of my darker moments, I was asked what I missed most from my life BC. I said, the ability to take control of my own life. I felt that with my illness, my control had been taken from me. But during that session, I saw that all the things I thought I was in charge of, were out of my control anyway!
My life, my job, my family, my friends, my pension and any money I may have had, could all go at any time, from reasons beyond my control. We have seen counties crash, banks collapse, jobs disappear, and pension schemes evaporate. Financial pressure creates tension in relationships and people break up. So there was I, worrying about my big life plan, when I couldn’t affect a lot of it anyway.
I seemed to have spent an awful lot of time looking towards a glorious retirement. My ideal would be lying on a beach with out a care in the world. Would that really have been possible anyway? I really don’t know. Certainly it is not an option for me anymore, but I don’t know anyone who could do that. Some people have the money, but plenty of worries, others have no worries or money!!!
I mentioned earlier, about the week ahead. I am already thinking about Wednesday morning when I have an appointment with a rheumatologist. Hopefully after all the tests that I have had, he will be able to confirm the exact cause of my muscular problems. But before that, I have two days more of dialysis. I am also attending the funeral of a very long standing friend, and giving a talk to a local Lymphoma Support Group.
I am hoping that I will have enough energy to help me through all of the next few days. It is unfortunate how so many things are on top of each other but I need to do all of them. Why was I thinking about Wednesday, when my real concern should be today? I guess old habbits die hard.
For the above reasons, I won’t be able to post for a few days, but I hope I have left you wanting more, and I promise not to disappoint!!! Have a good week.